i’d order a coffee anyday

by sophielola

forgive me if at any point I sound big headed or patronising, that is the complete opposite of the intention behind writing this particular post. It’s quite deep too, so if you aren’t in the mood – don’t read on!

Life is rarely kind to any of us, but at the age of 19 I have already accepted that despite having a fairly tough childhood it forced me to develop skills in which I hold a small amount of pride. Due to my siblings having autism, it became essential that my parents and I could understand their form of communication with ease – to avoid any conflict or issues that may develop. It also meant that we had to be very clear in what we were communicating and that we never left anything to chance, or assumption.
now, you may argue that everyone possesses these skills (and you are most probably correct), but in some they are far more developed than others. Imagine an individual with no concept of another’s conscious thought. try living in a bubble where you only understand your own thoughts and fail to recognise that every other human being around you is capable of independent thought processes. the flipside of this being – to communicate with such a person, you have to translate everything into their way of thinking as they won’t understand your own. Throughout my childhood I had to subconsciously interpret the world around me, see what my brother and sister wouldn’t be able to grasp and present it them in a manner in which they could. So. I had to first be able to see the world through someone elses eyes, I had to identify their different way of thinking and also be able to communicate in a manner that was person specific. I’m not saying I’m better at it than everyone else, I’m just pointing out that I have a lot of practice and that it is second nature – I haven’t been to any workshops or classes, this was learning by doing where the consequences of getting it wrong don’t bear thinking about.

Now, my brother and sister are extremes. But you can learn a lot from extremes. I think the crucial part of being able to communicate with someone is to listen to how they talk and try to see the thought processes that precede the words that leave their mouth. Because every person has their own interpretation of the meaning behind words. Essentially we’re all speaking a different language and have to be understanding with respect to the fact that some may be more fluent than others. to listen. the most important part of any conversation is to absorb the point that the other person is trying to get across. That doesn’t always mean that you should take what they say at face value.

Just think more before you speak. I can’t think this thought process through cause I’m tired. But all I’m trying to say is I do listen to everyone. I get what you’re all trying to say. so chill those beans and try and listen to me cause i am well interesting. mmmhmmm