it's not important. but this stuff matters

this blog isn’t a secret

This blog isn’t a secret, but it will have to do.

My family is falling apart, and I need to vent. I need to run around this god damn mountain I’m stuck on til Sunday and shout, scream and cry.


But that’s not what we do. We sit in mutual silence, all a little sad inside.


Time will tell




i have moved. please find me at


That’s where lifestyle lives.

try something new?

I’m moving homes kids!


soon, i’ll change the domain too.  :) let me know xx

in a lecture

I’m not writing this post through boredom, nor because I don’t find the lecture absorbing. Truly, it’s engaging and interesting. Honest. I’m a good student now.

It’s more a case of feeling left out – everyone else is on their phones. So I’m on my laptop.

Protected: Education

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Oatmeal mess

So. What on earth do you have for breakfast when you’re not allowed sugar and have the capacity to eat the whole kitchen when you wake up? Oats, clearly. My recipe isn’t really the norm but it hits the spot at any time of day…

The addition of the cocoa nibs might not be up your street but seriously give it a go, they give such an unusual taste and texture!

Oatmeal mess



  • 5og oats. (lots. lots and lots.)
  • 20g sultanas (the big sugar debate. if you are a true ‘sugar-free’ please omit these’
  • 10g chopped nuts (texture)
  • 15g cocoa nibs
  • 1 tablespoon honey/maple syrup (NATURAL sugars)
  • 150ml soya milk
  • extra water – if you so wish
  • cinnamon


Yep. The way I like to approach this is to whack the whole lot in a bowl, add a decent amount of water and microwave for around 2 minutes.




I never took a picture of this when it was cooked. I ate it instead



where is it?


I have a problem. I have now been awake for around an hour and no one has made me my coffee/tea. Where is it?


I guess I’ll do it :).



Day 16: i’m tired

So. I’ve had two ‘cheats’ thus far. May have accidentally chomped down a quarter of a brownie this morning. And last week there was that handful of bon bons. Naughty.


It’s important however, to allow yourself some indulgence. Otherwise you go mad.


Insanity is proving more of a challenge than I first thought – of course you shouldn’t ever underestimate something which is marketed as ‘impossible’, but I really didn’t think it would be this hard.


I have noticed my abs more. but not today after all my dinner ;)



Day 7: it’s like climbing a mountain

This is my third bowl of cinnamon porridge. I like the smell. The taste is a bit disappointing. But every mouthful is one more towards a healthy body – keep climbing.

I have to admit I feel amazing. Placebo, whatever, but I genuinely believe I’ve noticed a difference despite it being such a short space of time.

– I’m still experiencing horrendous cravings. Especially for a sugary cup of tea. Do you know I think it is statistically impossible to write an essay without one? I’ll work it out.

– I’m sleeping 100x better. I hope this carries on!

– I’ve definitely lost weight, whether it be water weight or a little bit of tummy ;) but I feel more lean


On top of all this, myself and my boyfriend have started the Insanity workout. After two workouts, the price is definitely worth it.

shaun t



Only 58 days to go. Hopefully I’ll stick at it!!



day 1.

I haven’t managed to exercise today – aside from the compulsory squats, sit ups and press ups (yet). 

However. I’d like to document the passing of today. I haven’t touched sugar, caffeine or naughty carbs. Are you proud? 

The hardest part (and I knew it would be), is omitting my usual and regular cups of tea. Without these, and the regular input of caffeine I was soon experiencing that horrible headache. You’ll know it if you’ve had it. 


I’ll make it til tomorrow (I promise!) x

Addicted to tea – the highs and lows

I take mine strong, milky, sugary and on the hour. Seriously. Like most students I took the whole tea drinking thing to heart – but my inability to handle the drink without sugar has some definite repercussions.

My hyper-crash-hyper cycle is now more than not interjected with naps and run arounds, a tell tale sign my body is not coping.

Tomorrow. I’m giving it up. none of that ‘try it without sugar’ stuff. If it is to be drunk I’ll drink it how I like.


Not only will I be needing your support throughout my training schedule, but in my lifestyle change.


And breathe.




[cycle 40 mins, row 33 mins, 3 minute run because I forgot appropriate undergarments lolllll]

I agreed to something silly

Oh golly. Oh golly my days.

I’ll admit I enjoy raising money for charity, and more often than not this involves participating in some crazy feat of endurance alongside it. Most recently I rowed 100km in one day (the biggest mistake of my life) and that was hard. Ten solid hours of moving and grooving in a boat. The boredom.

I’m glad that was over.

Guess what I was googling not long after. Endurance races. Because that wasn’t enough for five years. But I kind of lost the balls to do it alone and it has taken a few years to find people willing to punish themselves too. 9 people in fact.

So what are we doing?

A Spartan race. A teeny, tiny spartan race. 5km of fun packed fun. 15+ obstacles, a lot of mud and the threat of injury. Ideal.

Popular in the US, Spartan races (i’m sure) will become the next big thing in the UK…


We’re also raising money for charity, so I’ll be keeping you up to date on here how its going :).

I’ve already started training in the gym (I know it’s not the same as running outside, but I’m still being keen).




Bolognaise – my style

There’s something about a really good bolognaise sauce that completes a meal. None of that watery rubbish – a proper thick tomato-ey mess full of flavour and comfort.

Bolognaise – my style

they are all very red ingredients. i like that, don't you?

they are all very red ingredients. i like that, don’t you?


This makes enough for around 6-8 people. Or something (I never know cause my Dad has the eating capacity of a lion).

  • 800g minced beef (we go for lean because we’re healthy like that)
  • 2 tins of chopped tomatoes
  • Passata and/or tomato puree (again, just interpret this as you like. I get small pleasure from squirting in the puree – not sure if it makes that much of a difference)
  • 2 oxo cubes
  • 1 red onion (or 2 if you like that oniony vibe, finely chopped if you please)
  • Worcestershire sauce (not pictured because it’s a secret)
  • red peppers, mushrooms, carrots, parsnips … vegetables of YOUR choice
  • Seasonings (salt, pepper, herbs…)
  • Big pan
  • Spaghetti, pasta, rice. That thing with which you will eat your bolognaise. I like to use my hands

What next?

Heat a little oil in your big pan and add those onion pieces. Fry until nicely browned and caramelized.

Add your beef, oxo cubes and a good glug of the secret ingredient Worcestershire sauce

Let all this simmer in your pan until the mince is browned and everything is mixed together. It smells amazing. If you’re a sucker for seasoning throw in some pepper, a tiny bit of salt and some of those herbs. If you’re like me and sometimes forget – it still tastes yummy.

Once the meat is ready, chuck in the vegetables, chopped tomatoes and passata (and the puree if you’re a maverick like myself).

Let this simmer for as long as you possibly can. An hour, or two.

For the bake

Spoon this mix over some precooked pasta with a generous spoonful of cheese, and whack in the oven for around 20  minutes (180C/350F/Gas Mark 4).

Enjoy! x

PRINT ME – Bolognaise – my style – print out


i think? but the forecast for tomorrow is snow.

don’t let me drive

Technically I passed my test almost 3 years ago so in theory I’m a roadworthy driver. In theory I should be able to jump into a nearby automobile and potter off down the road remaining safe and calm, whilst singing along to my extensive music collection. But. This is not the case.

Take yesterday, for example, I took my mums car for a spin – a whirl shall we say.

don't let me drive - photo

look at the sky. isn’t it blue?

Look at the weather we were driving through (I say that like it was a blizzard), the complete opposite to this past months level of overcast dreariness. With my mummy in the drivers seat and the boyf in the back I comfortably got the vehicle out of town, and headed onto a terrifying bypass. This lead onto roundabouts, crazy junctions and some interesting situations. All within 45 minutes. What an experience. I think I need a another driving lesson.


Or maybe two.

a spring clean – lemony fresh

ah the introductory post. how can i talk about myself without sounding like everyone else on the internet? I just don’t think I can. I like giraffes. 

My natural hair is average brown. I wear too many bright clothes. My dad thinks my shoe collection is too large, but I couldn’t disagree more.

I always make awful first impressions, and tell people so.  And then they judge me. So go ahead you judgemental bastards, at least I’m not the one with a problem. I’ll insult every one of you buggers before the day is over

nicknames currently in use: N/A. i am unnamed


So, finally. here it is, April. The month associated most strongly with bluebells and mown grass. Oh. Hang on Britain. This year is a bit different – and it’s also the one during which I turn twenty-one.

Following a very big re-design of my blog, I feel it appropriate to introduce myself again…and again…and probably a few more times because I love love love talking about myself. It’s actually the better of topics.

I’m a twenty year old student at a university ‘tup north. My first year of being a fresher was lived in luxury I had a beautifully spacious room, and I miss the ensuite to the point I’ve considered going back. I will admit now though, I am repeating my first year. Not because I was a complete slacker and failed my exams, quite the contrary. I passed what could arguably be listed at the most difficult degree to change onto … media studies. Mum and dad aren’t you proud ;)?

I am now be living with my five flatmates from last year, and I can genuinely say we are one of the most diverse groups out there.

Take your stereotypical northerner, southerner, high achiever, wannabe un-nerd, eclectic musician and crazy asian – and add alcohol into that mix. Isn’t that the type of party you’d love to be attending? [from someone who has attended said parties, I will have to decline your invitation].

Back to me. I used to dye my hair an outrageous shade of blonde. My favourite food group would be smarties and I can drink tea like its going out of fashion (but I shall not be, because that would be naughty).
I’m useless at life, because I have the well documented medical problem retardeditus.

Stay tuned.


look at my walking away

look how cute i looked 3 years ago


to play with words.

A poor mans wit and a wise mans weapon.

Fork handles.

Present since the beginning of language, word play has been the cornerstone of many literary works. It’s a wonderful skill to possess. I like that in a person. Make funny with your words. But don’t throw sarcasm in there.


Sarcasm is not clever, nor is it funny. It’s just people who like to be difficult. I don’t like difficult people.

You’re probably difficult.

Mary Berry and me

I am a secret lover of the Great British Bake off. If you read my post yesterday you will have seen I was in the baking mood following breakfast with my Super Simple Sponge (cake). It didn’t stop there (unfortunately) and I then went on to produce a Mary Berry Simnel cake.

Oh Mary. Every other thing we’ve had going has been great – I’ve watched all her shows, I’ve read most of her books and I even have a small picture of her in my bedroom – but yesterday really threw me off. I tried to bake her traditional Simnel cake, resulting in us almost getting a divorce. Oh Berry you tease.

mary berry and me - mary

i nicked this image from an article in the telegraph ‘Mary Berry recipes: Countdown to Christmas lunch’. doesn’t she look cute

Trust Mary and Paul to add stress to my life. They promised a simple and step by step method to making this Easter treat. Sadly, even when following this guide (alongside the video) step 1 proved too much of a challenge. I literally could not line my tin and my laptop almost ended up in the oven. It took a good cup of tea and a biscuit before I felt ready to continue – and even then the task was arduous. That mixer she uses, well I wish I had one of them, because trust me beating in four eggs  separately was a workout in itself.


look at them standing there, having a bake

By the time I was measuring out sultanas, that cake and I were really on poor terms. Thankfully I got to leave it in the oven for over two hours and by the time that buzzer went off I no longer cared how it turned out.

My dad says its tasty though. So thanks Mary.  If you’re more able than I, I strongly recommend giving it a go. Obviously do it next year. That’s when the next easter is.


20 facts about me (you asked for it!)

1. I hate the colour yellow. Except foam bananas. And yellow socks.

2. I once ate smarties for 3 days instead of real food. Technically they count as vegetables (officially).

3. If I had a choice, I’d be 5 inches shorter. Or everyone else would be 5 inches taller.

4. My parents used to call me lilybet when I was younger – after the queen. We have what in common?

5. I have an obsession with finishing biros. If I lose one before the inks run out, it stresses me greatly. Or if someone steals it. Don’t steal them.

6. I’m a moody bitch. I don’t mean it though just sometimes I like to sulk

7. There’s three things I hate. You, liars and cheats. I’m a fan of finding an easy option though. So maybe just two things.

8. I passed my driving test, but probably shouldnt have.

9. I’ve written 243 pages of what I hope will become a publishable book. (every time I see this I want to cry as I can’t find the memory stick on which it’s saved and im slowly forgetting my plans for the ending. Dear god, let it be found, from me)

10. There are 3 bus stops near my house. I’ve never used any of them. Id rather walk a mile into town to save 30 p.

11. My cats are called dog, fatboy and stupid

12. I’m left handed but can only pour the kettle with my right

13. Even with my contact lenses in I still squint to read stuff. Just look mildly retarded

14. I once gave an old woman the wrong directions. Then bumped into her a bit later. Turns out id sent her to my house. Awkwarddd

15. There’s nothing I like more than sleeping. No. Nothing.

16. My favourite three words are – bashful, crunch and pop.

17. I don’t actually have favourite words. That’s just stupid. I’m dyslexic. I hate words

18. If you say something to me I usually forget it straight after. Lifes a constant struggle to have conversations

19. I categorically can not walk in a straight line and have appalling balance. If you stand on one foot I fall over. If you stand on both feet we’re in for some trouble.

20. I still have afternoon naps. But in secret. Or in the hallway on the floor. Not bothered.

21. Don’t be stupid. I said 20..

Super simple sponge (cake)

Happy Easter my cheeky bunnies – although I’m not too happy with having lost an essential   hour of sleep!

Today at 8am, to fit around a busy schedule and of course the sunday morning gym session, I have already been busy in the kitchen making my favourite Super Simple Sponge

It’s a regularly requested bake but doesn’t last long in our house – lucky it takes no time at all to make! Sometimes you just need a timeless classic

Start with collecting together your ingredients. I have to do this because otherwise I would forget something vital, and I think it just helps keep things stress free when you know you have everything out and ready.

i'm so tidy. thanks

i’m so tidy. thanks


  • 250g/6oz self raising flour
  • 250/6oz caster sugar
  • 250g/6oz softened butter
  • 3 eggs
  • vanilla essence
  • an oven, preheated to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4
  • Cake tin. pick a shape. then line it (butter and greaseproof paper)

What next?

Just mix it all together. Cream the butter and sugar into a smooth paste before beating in the eggs (one at a time please!). Then all you need to do is fold in the flour. Done!

I actually took this a step further (considering I’m now a level 2 cook) and decided to make a marble cake. All you need to do is add cocoa powder to half the  mix and splodge it around in your lined cake tin.

super simple sponge - cake mixes

super simple sponge - marbled

It almost looks like a professional did this, don’t you think?

Bake for 26 minutes (check using a knife and see if it comes out clean) and then leave to cool.

super simple sponge - cookedYummy. I kind of took a bite after taking this picture.

Then covered it in buttercream icing.

Definitely one that requires a cup of tea. Enjoy!

super simple sponge - iced

because i’m such a babe – here’s a printable version of this essential recipe – Super simple sponge – print out